Honest Trailers: Fire Emblem Awakening
by Gryphon Guy
Summary: A fan-made Honest Trailer for Fire Emblem Awakening. Contains spoilers.


This Trailer is rated H for honest. Also, S for Spoilers.

From the company that's been neglecting most of its franchises that aren't Zelda, Pokemon, Mario or Kirby and the people behind the brilliant Paper Mario series that's been going downhill after the second one, comes a game that people really loved, and which had people saying: Wow, swearing in a Nintendo game? Last time that happened was in the DK rap!

Fire Emblem Awakening!

Prepare to dive into the world of Ylisse, a country ruled by someone so peaceful that it would make Gandhi jealous. The other royals include Chrom, an overly gullible prince that trusts people with no memory who barely remember their names, don't know how they got here but somehow knows his name. Lissa, a whiny princess who's afraid of EVERYTHING. Including lemons. But, maybe she means the countless lemon fanfictions people write about her. They find your character, and everyone except their bodyguard Frederick sort of accepts you're there, despite you wearing robes similar to Dark Mages of the evil country. *sigh* Really?

They fight against Plegia, a country ruled by a king who tries absolutely anything to start a war, which makes everyone wonder why Plegians haven't rebelled already. Also, they fight against the Risen, which are pretty much medieval zombies. When Emmeryn tragically sacrifices herself in one of the most heart wrenching game scenes of all time, Chrom finally gets revenge and kills the bastard because his sister isn't around to hold him back anymore. It looks like peace, but that's only about 9 chapters in. That'd be too short, so immediately 2 years after that another war is started, this time against what's basically Japan.

Watch as the mysterious Swordsman Marth reveals he's actually Chrom's daughter from the future, which also sounds like something straight out of a fanfiction. And, Chrom believes her because she has the same Mark of the Exalt that he has. Lucky for her it didn't grow anywhere else, right? She also came with more children from the future which are unlocked by marrying a certain woman or you and Chrom, half of which are either extreme cowards, narcissists or something else. After you've defeated Japan, prepare to immediately start a war with Plegia again, this time against priests who worship the dragon that will kill literally everything. Why would you even worship that?

Prepare for the last stretch of the game which will be tough and emotional, and then an extremely good final battle with one of the most beautiful music pieces in a video game playing. Sacrifice yourself for a permanent good ending for everyone and then come back because everyone loves you so much. This emotional journey… Will pretty much turn into competitive Pokemon breeding after you've figured out which couples go the best together and how skills are passed on, mainly Galeforce. Watch as a franchise barely anyone knows turns into a franchise everyone hates because of Super Smash Bros. Almost more Fire Emblem characters than Mario characters? Really?

Starring:

Google Chrom.

Error 404: Memory not found. (Robin, Morgan, Emmeryn)

Sage=OP (Lissa)

Worth sh** in the second half. (Frederick)

Rated E for Extreme swearing. (Sully)

Only person with glasses. (Miriel)

Avaikening. (Vaike)

Free Falling. (Sumia)

Eating disorder. (Stahl)

The Invisible Man. (Kellam)

Miles Edgeworth. (Virion)

Fucks up enemies but not women. (Lon'Qu)

Less Likeable Lissa. (Maribelle)

Senpai didn't notice me. (Cordelia)

Furry. (Panne)

The Candyman. (Gaius)

Pedo and pedo bait. (Nowi)

Nintendo Heavy Weapons Guy. (Gregor)

Tumblr. (Libra)

Terrible person with BEEEEWBS. (Tharja)

Tiny Stripper. (Olivia)

Wyvern Waifu. (Cherche)

Nurse Joy. (Anna)

You don't Say…Ri… (Say'Ri)

Ghostly Skill stat. (Yen'Fay)

Walmart. (Walhart)

Gangrelous. (Gangrel)

Too much cleavage. (Tiki and Aversa)

Tavish Finnekhan Degroot. (Basilio)

Got nothing. (Flavia)

Pretty much Ike. (Priam)

More Male Marth (Lucina)

Spastic Swordsman. (Owain)

Jerks off to himself. (Inigo)

Batman! (Gerome)

Kirby's Epic Yarne. (Yarne)

Okay, second person who wears glasses. (Laurent)

Violent Violin. (Brady)

Total B***. (Severa)

Sumia 2.0. (Cynthia)

Original Joke? Nah. (Nah)

Kjellam. (Kjelle)

And L.A. Noire. (Noire)

Shipping : Awaifuning !

You know, for such a serious game, some of the characters… really don't make any sense. Guess it's a Nintendo game after all.


End file.
